MARIJUANA

I remember seeing the commercials on television about marijuana and as an impressionable young adult, it made me believe that it was a complete life-waster. Where I can see where they are coming from, I can present many examples of people who know how to handle it and they hold high-profile careers, so whatever.

My first experience with marijuana was when I was 19 years old and I really didn't feel I had much to live for, so I took some kids up on a dare and smoked it out of blunts. About 45 minutes later, I felt a sensation like little balls rolling all over my legs and my head started to feel flattened. I told someone who had dreds that the way his dreds crossed in front of a blue light reminded me of a crow on a beach below a purple night sky. His response was "Dude, you're stoned". I was not scared. I realized I had gotten past my fears, my social ineptness due to anxiety, and everything that was sinking me down like a stone right then. In effect I had gone out of myself. I was even handling the repetitive techno music they were playing at the time, mainly due to the fact I was nearly hallucinating and it felt like little beads of blue light were coming out of the radio and hitting me in the face. I noticed no one there except for one time the guy with dreds tried to get my attention by pretending to jump out the window. I just faced front like I did before.

There's been no other type of reality for me than something like a "hyper-reality" that makes me notice and remember everything even when I don't want to. I guess it's a self-protection mechanism and can be useful if needed, but after I started smoking pot I realized that sometimes it's better when it's not around. As I started smoking more I started to get the paranoia you always hear about and felt like I couldn't breathe or I was going to have a heart attack or stroke, but they were mainly due to a deeper anxiety that had yet to surface. Otherwise it only helped with good things like writing, music-over-appreciation, and talks with people about nothing, including with nothing to hide.

Speaking of music appreciation, there are three bands that seemed to be enhanced by marijuana: Simon and Garfunkel, Tori Amos, and Phish. Some good pot songs are "Burn One Down" by Ben Harper, "Low" by Cracker, and "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson.

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